Most of us have experienced it: the desire to change our lives, build new routines, or kickstart better habits. We try harder, lean on willpower, maybe even outsource our motivation through tools, coaches, or accountability systems — but it still doesn’t work. If that’s you, you’re not alone in this cycle of trying and failing.

But what if the problem isn’t effort — what if it’s the environment?

The Invisible Hand That Shapes Us

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, puts it this way:

“Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior.”

If we could make that “invisible hand” visible, it might look like this: our habits, our character, our skills, our values — all shaped by what surrounds us. Our current lifestyle is not just a reflection of our willpower, but a result of our environment. Take a closer look around you: the spaces you spend time in, the people you interact with, and the media you consume — all of these factors are quietly shaping your behavior.

In our 20s, our environment isn’t just shaping habits — it’s shaping our identity. And the sooner we see that, the more power we gain to shape it intentionally.

Flipping the Coin: Use the Environment in Your Favor

So how do we flip the script and let the invisible hand work for us?

That’s where the Proximity Principle comes in.

Coined by Ken Coleman in his 2017 book The Proximity Principle, the idea is simple yet powerful:

The right people + the right places = opportunities.

Though originally meant for career growth, this principle applies to personal development just as powerfully. The people we spend the most time with — their habits, values, and standards — are silently scripting our future. And it’s not just who we see in person — it’s also who we follow, watch, and listen to. Whether it’s who you go to the gym with, who you’re texting late at night, the podcasts in your ears, the creators in your feed, or the shows you binge — all of it is shaping your mindset and direction. Want to level up? Surround yourself with people and content that reflect the life you want to live.

Your Environment Is a Choice

The truth is, most of us don’t consciously choose our environment. We default to what’s familiar or convenient. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. we can redesign our surroundings — both physical and social — to align with our goals.

Our 20s are not a waiting room — they’re the building ground. We’re not just learning who we are; we’re becoming who we’ll be. Environment isn’t a background factor — it’s the foundation.

Whether you’re aiming to get healthier, become more focused, or grow in your career, the environment you cultivate may do more to determine your success than any amount of willpower.